There’s something super counterintuitive about consenting to poison yourself, most especially when I’ve always been so cautious about limiting my exposure to toxins! There’s a level of hysterical irony as I sit here contemplating this while hooked up to human antibodies, an army of snipers ready to obliterate my b-cells.

In my mind, I’ve gone to California, the place where my spirit lives. I feel the warm sun on my skin, the salty wind through my hair, the cool smooth sand in my toes, and the aroma of the sweet white jasmine flowers. It’ll be a new and great meeting, almost like the first time, when my mind, body and spirit reunite this evening.

My sweet three year old said to me, “don’t be afraid, mommy, I’m right here.” He was talking about imaginary monsters while playing a Paw Patrol game, but at this time — in that moment, he had no idea what those words truly mean to me. Part of me is terrified, but a bigger part of me… the most important part is a fearless warrior, unbreakable, tethered to God, to my true self, and to all of you. “I’ve got a body made of blades”, light me up, beeches ✌🏻#fightwiththeblood #bloodcancer #nonhodgkinslymphoma #warrior

playlist song by: Bronze Radio Return

I'm a: mom. wife. daughter. sister. teacher. writer. friend. cali girl. lymphoma survivor. local-organic foodie. new age hippie. packers fan. believer

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